


This Time

by linzerrz



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Fluff, M/M, Smut, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-23
Updated: 2014-09-23
Packaged: 2018-02-18 11:52:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2347520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linzerrz/pseuds/linzerrz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Because.” Harry started to explain with tears in his eyes. “Because when you walk out that door I don’t know when I’m going to see you again. It could be another month or two from now. I can’t handle that, Louis. I can’t handle not knowing when I’m going to see you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I'm finally getting this posted up here for all of you who prefer ao3 format as opposed to Wattpad!  
> A lot of time went into this story, and I think it' one of my best. You guys blew up my reader count on Wattpad the first day it was posted to over 120 views in less than a day, so thank you! I hope you guys enjoy this story. :)
> 
> As always, I do not own One Direction or any of their affiliates. All events in this story are fiction.

“Lou, do you want to go out tonight?” Harry asked as he walked into their bedroom. The two of them hadn’t been able to properly spend time together in a few months. They had just finished the North American leg of the tour and finally had some time off. Harry missed spending time with his boyfriend.  
  
“I’d love to, Haz…” Louis started, “But I have to go out with Eleanor tonight.”  
  
“Oh, of course, yeah” Harry said, defeated.  
  
Here’s the thing about Louis and Harry’s relationship, they haven’t gone public yet. Sure, the lads and their families know, and management found out, but they haven’t come out to the fans, yet. There have been plenty of times where they wanted to, but every time management shot them down. See, management thinks that having two openly gay members of the band that are dating each other would be bad for their image. That’s where Eleanor comes in. She was hired to be Louis’ “girlfriend” so that no one would suspect anything. It was okay at first, but you would think that after three years they would start to back off a little bit.  
  
“I’m sorry, baby.” Louis walked over to Harry to kiss him on the forehead. “I wish I could, but management called this morning and they need some publicity shots of me and El. I promise we will have a date soon though, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, okay. Have fun with El.” Harry sighed.  
  
“I’ll be thinking of you the whole time, babycakes.” Louis said as he kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be home tonight!”  
  
It went on that way for a few weeks. Louis would go out with Eleanor and Harry hardly got to see his boyfriend. Harry didn’t hate Eleanor, he just wasn’t her biggest fan. She was tall and pretty, with long brown hair and the body of a model. Anyone would be jealous of her, including Harry. He was jealous that she got to spend time out in public with his boyfriend while he was stuck at home. He was upset that she got to hold Louis’ hand while they walked down the street but Harry wasn’t allowed to do that. Part of Harry was always a little worried. See, Harry knew he liked men and only men, but Louis had always had girlfriends. Harry is the first guy that Louis has ever been with. Part of Harry has always been worried that Louis will realize he doesn’t actually like men and will fall in love with Eleanor. The lads have always tried to talk him out of it when Harry starts to think like that, but he can’t help but worry. Harry just wanted his boyfriend back.  
\---------------------

About a week later, Harry woke up to the smell of bacon drifting in to the bedroom. He got out of bed and walked down the hall to the kitchen to find Louis standing over the stove.  
  
“Louis what are you doing?”  
  
“Oh! G’morning, Haz!” Louis said, clearly not having heard Harry enter the room until now. “I made you breakfast!”  
  
Harry walked up behind Louis and wrapped his arm around him.  
  
“Smells delicious, Lou. Thank you. What’s the occasion?”  
  
“No occasion, love. Just wanted to do something nice for you.” Louis said, leaning his head to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek. “I know we haven’t spent much time together recently so I thought it would be nice to have breakfast together. And I have the whole day free, so we can spend all day together.”  
  
“Really?” Harry beamed. “Oh, Lou, that’s great!”  
  
“I thought you would like that idea.” Louis smiled. “Now eat your breakfast, Curly.”  
  
After breakfast the boys decided to spend the morning curled up on the couch watching movies. It was one of their favorite things to do together. They would always end up in the same position, with Louis tucked under Harry’s arms, the two stealing sweet kisses throughout the film. This was one of those moments that was just theirs. No one was around to tell them not to sit too closely. There was no fake girlfriend to get in the way. They were free to kiss and hug and be themselves with no worries. After they had watched two movies, Harry decided to go make some lunch for the both of them.  
  
“I’ll be here waiting for you, Curly!” Louis called after him as his boyfriend made his way into the kitchen. As he was looking through their stack of DVD’s trying to decide which to watch next, his phone started going off. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked down to see who was calling.  
  
“Oh, great.” He said rolling his eyes and he pressed “answer. “Hello?”  
  
“Louis, hey, it’s Tom from Modest!”  
  
“Yes, I know who you are, Tom…” Louis sighed. “What’s going on?”  
  
“We’ve got a bit of an issue.” Tom stated flatly.  
  
“Of course we do.” Louis rolled his eyes again. “What is it this time?”  
  
“We need to do some damage control. Pictures of you and Harry backstage were leaked this morning. Everyone is going crazy. We need you to go to pick up Eleanor and go out and about the town today. There are some clubs we need you to go to tonight, as well. We’ve already given the paparazzi a heads up.” Tom told Louis.  
  
“Haz and I had plans-“ Louis started to explain but Tom cut him off.  
  
“Sorry, Louis. This needs to be done.” Tom said with an unapologetic tone. “We told Eleanor you will be there in about half an hour, so get ready and head that way. I’m sure Harry will understand.” And with that the line went dead.  
  
“Great, how am I going to explain this to Harry?” Louis sighed. He shoved his phone back in his pocket and made his way to the kitchen.  
  
“Haz…” Louis called out as he walked into the room.  
  
“Lou, lunch is almost-“ Harry realized as he turned around to look at his boyfriend that something wasn’t right. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Tom called. From Modest!” Louis said with his head hung low, biting his lip, knowing that the hopeful gleam he saw in Harry’s eyes earlier that morning would soon be gone.  
  
“No.” Harry said. “No, Lou, they can’t make you. Tell them no!”  
  
“I tried, Haz. They won’t take no for an answer.” Louis sighed. “I have to go pick up Eleanor. I have to get ready.” Louis walked out of the kitchen and made his way down the hall to their bedroom.  
  
Harry stayed standing in the kitchen, hurt that his day with Louis had been ruined because of Eleanor once again. Why couldn’t things be easier for them for once? Harry could feel the jealousy building up inside of him. He made his way down the hall towards Louis.  
  
“Why don’t you ever tell them no?!” Harry shouted.  
  
“Harry, I tried.” Louis sighed. “It’s not like I want to do this.”  
  
“Well you certainly don’t put up much of a fight.” Harry sneered.  
  
“Haz!” Louis snapped back. “Baby, I am doing this for us. Please don’t do this right now.” He made his ways passed Harry and walked towards the living room to grab his jacket. It’s early October, so it is starting to get cool in London. Harry followed him out of the bedroom.  
  
“Louis, please.” Harry whined  
  
“Haz, I have to go.” Louis made his way over to Harry. “I know you’re upset but I will be home tonight and we can cuddle in bed for the rest of the night, okay?”  
  
“Promise?” Harry asked.  
  
“I promise.” Louis smiled softly, kissing Harry on the forehead. “I love you so much.”  
  
“I love you too, Lou.” Harry replied as Louis walked out the door of the flat.

  


It was 4 a.m. and Louis still wasn’t home. Harry was exhausted, but had wanted to wait up for Louis to get home. He picked up his phone and tried calling him for the fifth time, but still no answer.  
  
“Fuck it.” Harry said as he stormed off to the bedroom. “I’m going to bed. He can wake my ass up if he wants to.”  
\---------------------------------------

When Harry woke the next morning there was no Louis in bed with him. He looked at the clock beside his bed and saw that it was 11 in the morning. Where the hell could he be? Harry got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. Still no sign of Louis anywhere. He checked his phone to see if Louis had tried to call, but there were no missed calls or text messages. He sent out one more “where are you?” text, hoping to receive a reply. He decided to sit down and watch some telly while he waited to hear from Louis. When he turned the TV on, the first thing he saw was his boyfriend’s face smashed against the girl he was fake dating in the middle of a club.  
  
“Louis Tomlinson of One Direction got down and dirty with girlfriend Eleanor Calder last night” said the lady on the television. “According to eye witnesses, they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other all night! Aren’t they th-“  
  
Harry shut off the television and threw the remote across the room. So that’s where he was all night? Getting drunk and fucking around with Eleanor? Harry could feel the anger and the hurt boiling inside of him. Just then he heard someone outside putting a key into the lock of the front door. The door swung open and there was Louis standing in the doorway staring straight at Harry.  
  
“Haz…” Louis started, but Harry stormed down the hall towards the bedroom.  
  
“Harry, wait! Please. I’m sorry, let me explain!” Louis called after him, following him down the hall.  
  
“Explain what, Louis?” Harry sneered. “Explain how you went out and got drunk with Eleanor? How you were so drunk that you ended up staying the night with her? How THAT was more important than keeping your promise to your boyfriend? Go ahead, Lou, I’d love to hear all about it!”  
  
“Harry, I-“ Louis started, but Harry interrupted him again.  
  
“You fucking promised, Louis!” Harry yelled. He could feel his emotions getting ready to explode.  
  
“Baby, I know. I am so sorry.” Louis whined. “I know you are upset with me-“  
  
“No, Louis. Upset doesn’t even begin to cover it.” Harry cut him off. “Upset would be when you forget to put the laundry in the dryer after I remind you 12 times. Or when I asked you six times to pick up a gallon of milk from Tesco’s and you STILL forgot. No, Louis, I’m not upset. I’m fucking furious!”  
  
“Babe, please listen to me.” Louis begged.  
  
“Why, Lou? Why should I listen to you now?” Harry snapped.  
  
“Because I love you. I love you so much and-“  
  
“Do you?” Harry growled. “Because you sure could have fooled me.”  
  
“Harry, what are you going on about?” Louis asked, confused. He had never seen Harry so angry and upset with him before. He could see tears starting to fill Harry’s beautiful green eyes. Louis never wanted to see Harry cry because of him. He felt awful.  
  
“You’re never here, Lou!” Harry shouted. “Any time we have a moment to rest you’re out with her. I never even get to see you anymore because you are always out roaming the town with Eleanor! You never tell them no, Louis. You always give in to them! You put more effort into your “fake” relationship than your real one! That’s not fair to me!”  
  
“Harry, I do this for us- for you!” Louis argued. “I do this so we can be together! That was the deal remember? Management would let us be together in secret as long as one of us pretended to be in a relationship. I do this so you don’t have to! Harry, you know that.”  
  
“No, I used to know that!” Harry snapped back. “Let’s be honest, Louis. You are doing this for yourself.”  
  
“What are you talking about?” Louis questioned.  
  
“You don’t want to come out, Louis. You never have!” Harry shouted. “You’ve always been afraid of what everyone would say. You’re ashamed. You are ashamed of who you are. You’re ashamed of me. You are nothing but a coward, Louis Tomlinson.”  
  
“Harry, you are out of your mind!” Louis yelled. “I have never once felt ashamed of you or ashamed to be with you. Baby, please, you have to believe me!”  
  
“I’m the only one trying in this relationship and I can’t take it anymore!” Harry cried. “I can’t do this!”  
  
“Harry…” Louis started. “Haz, what are you saying?”  
  
Harry finally felt the tears that were brimming his eyes fall down his face as he let out a long breath. “I’m leaving, Louis.”  
  
“Harry… Harry no, please.” Louis pleaded. “Please, we can work on this. We can fix it. I can fix it. Please Harry don’t leave.” Louis walked towards Harry, his arms reaching out to him, but Harry walked right passed him and out to the living room.  
  
“I’m sorry, Lou, but I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t what I want.” Harry turned to grab his keys and his jacket.  
  
“You can’t just throw away three years!” Louis cried. “We’re supposed to work these things out. You’re supposed to love me enough to stay!”  
  
“You’re supposed to love me enough to try.” Harry wailed. He turned and opened the door to the flat. “I’ll be back for my things tomorrow. I would appreciate if you weren’t around when I get here so that we don’t have to go through this again.”  
  
“Harry, wait!” Louis cried, tears streaming down his face. “I love you!”  
  
Harry turned to look at Louis, sadness filling his eyes. “Goodbye, Lou.” And with that, Harry was gone.  
  
Louis fell to the floor, sobbing, curled up in a ball. Harry was gone. Harry had left because he felt like Louis didn’t love him anymore. How could he have let it get this bad? How hadn’t he noticed how miserable Harry had been? After a few more minutes of crying, he picked up his phone and called Niall.  
  
“Hey Tommo, what’s- are you crying?”  
  
“Harry… Harry left…” Louis sobbed into the phone.  
  
“Louis what do you mean he-? Oh, god.” Niall’s voice came from the other line. “Shit- I’ll be there in a few minutes. I’ll be right there.”  
  
Louis heard a knock on the door about 15 minutes later. Louis couldn’t bring himself to get up from his position on the floor. He knew Niall would let himself in if he didn’t answer.  
  
“Lou? Tommo where are ya?” Niall called out.  
  
“I’m over here...” Louis whispered from behind the couch.  
  
“Louis…” Niall sat beside him on the floor. “Lou, what happened?”  
  
Louis started from the beginning. He told Niall about yesterday and how Tom had called in the middle of their day to tell him to go get Eleanor. He explained how he got drunk last night and couldn’t drive home, so he stayed over at Eleanor’s, and how when he got home Harry exploded.  
  
“I don’t know what to do, Ni.” Louis cried, tears falling once again. “I don’t know how to fix this.”  
  
“Well…” Niall thought for a moment. “Give him some time, Lou. He is hurt right now. Maybe he just needs time to cool off. Maybe he will be here when you get home tomorrow. Maybe he will decide to stay.”  
  
Louis wiped his eyes, “Yeah, maybe.”  
  
“He’s not totally wrong though, Lou.” Niall uttered, handing Louis a tissue. “You do need to start standing up for yourself to management. You hardly spend time with Harry because they treat you like their little puppet. I’d be upset, too.”  
  
“God, Niall, I really fucked up, didn’t I?” Louis asked  
  
“You can fix it, Tommo.” Niall smiled. “I know you can. You and Harry, well, you’re soul mates. You two are meant to be together, no matter what happens. I know it.”  
  
“Thanks, Ni.” Louis smiled back at him. “You’re a good friend.”  
  
“That’s what I’m here for, mate.” Niall replied. “Now come on, let’s get you off the floor.”  
\---------------------------------------

The next morning, Harry walked down the hall to the flat he and Louis had shared for the past three years. It felt odd, strange, not like home anymore. He hesitated outside the door, not sure if he should knock first to see if Louis was still there, or if he should just go in. He decided to let himself in with his key. It was still partly his flat, anyhow. He walked through the front door and into the living room. There was no sign of Louis anywhere. Thank God. Harry didn’t think he could go through another replay of last night.  
  
He walked into the kitchen to start grabbing some of his things. As he began to put some of his belongings into boxes, he glanced over to see a folded piece of paper lying on the counter. He sat his items down in the box and walked over to pick up the piece of paper. It was folded in half with his name written on the front in Louis’ handwriting. He opened the paper and found that it was a letter that Louis had written him.  
  
  
Harry,  
  
I am so sorry. I don’t know how many times I can say it, but I know that it will never be enough. I never meant to hurt you, baby. I would never want to hurt you the way I did. I love you so much. Haz, we have been through too much together to give up on us now. Please don’t leave me. I promise I will fix this. We can make this work. I know I don’t deserve it, but please just give me another chance. We’ve all done things we regret, but if I lose you I don’t think I could ever forgive myself. Please, if you still love me, stay. Stay here. Don’t leave with a box full of your things. Unpack whatever you’ve put into boxes already and stay here. This is your home. This is where you belong. This is where we belong. We can get through this the same way we have gotten through the last three years. If I get home and you are still here, I promise that I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to make this up to you. I love you so much.  
  
Lou. Xx  
  
  
Harry sat the letter back down on the counter and looked around. He walked through the flat, taking everything in. He walked through the living room, down the hall, and to their bedroom. He stood in the door way for a moment, staring at the bed he’d shared with Louis for the past three years. He walked over slowly and sat down on the bed, taking in the feeling of it, remembering all the times they shared and all the memories made there. Morning cuddles, lying in bed having a cuppa together, making love for the first time. Some of the best moments of Harry’s life were made in this very room. Harry glanced over at the table next to his side of the bed. There was a framed picture of him and Lou from their first date. It was Harry’s favorite. Niall had taken it for them. Since they weren’t public, their first date had been inside Niall’s flat. Louis had taken Harry over there to surprise him. When they walked in there were candles lit all around the flat, with a table and chairs set up in the middle for them to have dinner. Niall acted as their waiter for the night, bringing them drinks and food. Harry cried, a lot. It was the most thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for Harry. He looked back over at the picture and picked it up. He can’t remember the last time they had been able to do something like that, just the two of them. The last time they felt that in love with each other. Harry knew he had a decision to make.  
\---------------------------------------

Louis anxiously stood outside of the building of his flat. He had spent most of the day at Niall’s watching the football match. He knew that Harry didn’t want him to be there when he arrived, but that didn’t stop him from leaving the note for Harry to find when he stopped by. Louis couldn’t give up on this yet. He was not about to sit by and let three years fly out the window just because he was acting like an idiot. Louis looked at the door of the building trying to decide whether he wanted to go in or not. He knew it was inevitable, he would have to go in at some point and see if the flat was empty or if Harry was still there. That was the worst part about this, not knowing. Louis took in a deep breath and walked inside the building and to the lift to his flat. Once he got to his floor he slowly made his way down the hall, his body feeling heavy, as if his limbs didn’t want to move anymore. He reached into his pocket and fumbled with the keys. When he came to the door, he stopped. What if Harry wasn’t in there? What if the letter hadn’t worked? Was he really prepared for what was through that door? He took the key and slid it into the lock, slowly turning the door knob and stepping through the doorway.  
All of the lights were out. He walked over to the switch and turned it on. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light, he started to wish he could go back to being in the darkness. As he walked through the flat he noticed there was no Harry in the living room, no Harry in the bedroom, no Harry in the bathroom or out on the balcony. Louis felt his chest tighten. He walked into the only room he hadn’t gone into yet, the kitchen. When he walked through the doorway, the only thing he could focus on was the folded piece of paper sitting on the counter. Had Harry not read the letter he wrote? As he walked over, he realized that it was not his own handwriting on the front of the paper, but Harry’s. He quickly picked it up, unfolding it. He heard a clink as something fell out of the letter, but his eyes were too focused on the words scribbled onto the paper.  
  
  
I’m sorry…  
  
  
Louis could feel the tears welling in his eyes. The letter really hadn’t worked. It really hadn’t meant anything to him? He looked down at the counter and saw what had fallen out of the letter. Harry’s key to the flat. Tears started to stream down Louis’ face. His chest became tight and his breaths became short and quick. He clutched his chest and fell to the floor. He was gone. Harry was gone. He packed up his things and left. Louis thought he would stay. He thought Harry just needed some time to cool off. Louis had really screwed this one up. He didn’t move from his spot on the kitchen floor all night. He laid there, clutching the paper from Harry in one hand and the key in the other. This was all he had left of him, now, and he was going to hold on to it for as long as he could.  
\---------------------------------------

Days went by and Louis couldn’t bring himself to leave the flat. He had woken up the morning after Harry left thinking that it was just a terrible nightmare. That was, until he realized he was still lying on the kitchen floor with Harry’s key in his hand. It had hit him all over again that Harry really was gone. He didn’t talk to the other lads for what seemed like a week. He didn’t want them to see how broken he was. He didn’t eat much at all. He wasn’t ever hungry. The only thing he felt was the overwhelming guilt that it was his fault Harry was gone.  
  
About a week after Harry’s departure, Louis was lying in bed when he heard a knock on the door. He didn’t know who it was, nor did he really care. He threw the blankets up over his head and curled in on himself. He didn’t want to see anyone. Whoever it was could leave. If it was someone important they could call him later, maybe he would decide to answer his phone.  
  
Louis heard the front door open. Who the hell was coming into his flat? He heard feet padding down the hall toward his bedroom. Well, whoever it was obviously knew where they would find Louis. Just then, his bedroom door swung open.  
  
“Tommo!”  
  
Oh great. He knew that Irish accent anywhere.  
  
“Get your arse up out of this bed right now!” Niall shouted as he walked over to Louis and tore the blankets off of his body.  
  
“Niall, you twat!” Louis screeched. “Give me my blankets back!”  
  
“I don’t think so, Lou.” Niall shook his head. “You need to get up, get dressed, and do something other than lay here in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself.”  
  
“Fuck you, Niall.” Louis rolled his eyes. “You don’t get it. You don’t know what this feels like. You don’t have any idea what you’re talking about.”  
  
“Louis, I haven’t heard from you since he left.” Niall stated. “It’s been a week and you haven’t talked to any of us. Zayn and Liam are worried, too. We’re your best mates and you won’t talk to us. The first thing you want to tell me after a week is ‘fuck you’ and ‘you’re a twat’? Classy, Tomlinson.”  
  
Louis curled in on himself on the bed. “I can’t have a life for myself if Harry isn’t here to make a life with.”  
  
Niall sat down next to Louis on the bed, resting his hand against his back. “I know, Lou.” He sighed. “But moping in bed isn’t going to bring him back. If you want any chance of getting him back you have to get up. You have to get out of bed and you have to keep living your life. Nothing is going to change if you don’t put forth an effort.”  
  
“I’m going to fix some breakfast for ya and you’d better be up by the time the food is ready.” Niall said as he got off the bed, giving Louis a knowing look as he left the room. Louis looked around for a moment before getting up with a sigh. He knew if he didn’t get up, Niall would make him one way or another.  
\---------------------------------------

Harry is a mess; he has been since he walked out the door a week and a half ago. He is still having a hard time processing everything. He actually left. He had actually packed up his things and left. Harry wondered what Louis had done when he got home and saw the note. Had he been angry? Did he throw it away? Did he call the boys? The boys. Harry hadn’t spoken to any of them since he left. He’s gotten at least one text from each of them. Niall called every day for the first few days, but Harry never answered. He couldn’t handle it. He knew Niall would ask questions and want answers. Harry wasn’t ready for that. He needed space. He needed time to figure out what he was doing. There was only one place he could think of where he knew he could go to get some time to think and figure things out. So he threw all of his things in the back of his car and drove to Holmes Chapel.  
  
When he arrived at his mum’s house it had been pretty late in the evening. When Anne had answered the door she looked startled and confused. She had started to ask where Louis was before she realized the look on Harry’s face. She took him in her arms and kissed the top of his head, saying “I love you” and “we can talk about it when you’re ready.” Harry didn’t want to talk about it, though. Not yet. He just wanted to come inside and see his mum. He wanted to stop thinking about everything. He wasn’t ready to talk and he didn’t think he ever would be.  
  
Now, Harry is sitting on his mum’s couch eating cereal and watching the television when Anne comes in and sits beside him. Harry can feel her eyes on him as he continues to look at the television. He turned to look over at her once he realized she wasn’t going to initiate conversation.  
  
“Can I help you?” Harry questions through another bite of cereal.  
  
Anne sits quietly for a moment, as if she isn’t sure whether she would speak or not. “Harry, it’s time that we talk about it.” She finally breaks her silence.  
  
Harry could feel himself tense up and his body freeze. It’d been over a week and he still hadn’t told his mum what had happened with Louis. He didn’t want to talk about it.  
  
“Mum, we don’t need to talk about it.” Harry rolled his eyes and turned to look back at the TV.  
  
Anne reached over the coffee table and grabbed the remote, switching the television off.  
  
“Hey!” Harry objected.  
  
“Harry, baby” Anne cooed. “You have done nothing but lay around and mope for the past week. I’ve given you time and I have given you space, but it’s time that we talk about what happened. I can’t stand to see you like this. Nothing is going to change if you don’t talk about it.”  
  
Harry sighed, leaning back against the couch. He knew Anne was right, whether he liked it or not. “It’s complicated.”  
  
Harry sat with Anne on the couch for most of the early afternoon talking about what had happened with Louis and how everything had gone wrong. Anne sat and listened patiently, letting Harry pause to wipe his tears when he needed to, and rubbing a soothing hand on his back. Harry didn’t hold anything back. He felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest again.  
  
“I shouldn’t be the only one trying in our relationship, mum” Harry wiped his eyes. “It’s not fair to me. It isn’t right.”  
  
“I know, baby.” Anne soothed. “I don’t think he meant to hurt you, love.”  
  
“I begged him.” Harry cried. “I begged him to stay that day. I asked him to stand up to them for once and he flat out denied me.”  
  
Anne wrapped her arms around Harry and pulled him to her chest, playing with his curls. “Maybe you just need some time apart. Maybe by the time you go back to London for the album launch things will have cooled down. It’s just a few weeks apart. Just give it some time, love. Louis loves you. I have absolutely no doubt that that is true.”  
  
Harry sighed. Maybe his mum was right. That was the most painful part, though. Waiting. Not knowing what is going to happen next. There were only two weeks until the album launch party in London. Maybe Harry can gather his thoughts by then.  
\---------------------------------------

“Louis, come on! Get your ass moving!” Liam yelled from down the hall. They were all in Louis’ flat getting ready for their album launch party this evening. Their fourth album is released worldwide at midnight tonight and the boys are buzzing. They should have been on their way to the party half an hour ago, but Louis has been taking a particularly long time getting ready.  
  
“Calm down, just give me a minute!” Louis shouted back. He turned back to look at himself in the mirror one last time. He had to look perfect. This was the first night he was going to see Harry since they broke up. His palms were sweating and his hands were shaking just thinking about it.  
  
“That’s what you said ten minutes ago, Lou!” Liam yelled down the hall once more.  
  
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Louis grumbled as he walked out of his bedroom and towards the living room where the other three boys were. “Are we ready?”  
  
“We’ve been ready, mate.” Zayn rolled his eyes.  
  
“Let’s go then, c’mon!” Niall exclaimed and opened the door of the flat. “I’m so ready for this. I can’t believe it’s here already!”  
  
“I know.” Liam smiled as they strolled out of the building and piled into the car. “Can you believe it? Our fourth album.”  
  
“Who would have ever thought we would make it this far?” Zayn laughed.  
  
“Harry always knew we would.” Louis smiled.  
  
Everyone in the car tensed up at hearing Louis mention Harry’s name. No one had spoken to Harry in almost four weeks. Everyone was a little anxious to see what would unfold tonight.  
  
“Has anyone talked to Harry today?” Niall asked. “He is coming, right?”  
  
“I haven’t heard from him.” Liam stated. “But I know Paul talked to him. He is meeting us there. He’s still a part of the band, guys. Just because he…” Liam stopped talking before he said anything that might upset Louis. They didn’t really talk about it. Not with Louis, at least. Louis didn’t want to talk and they respected that.  
  
“Just because he left me doesn’t mean he left you guys.” Louis finished Liam’s thought. “You’re not going to upset me, Li. It’s not like I don’t already know.”  
  
The boys sat awkwardly in the car, unsure of what to say. They knew tonight was going to be weird for all of them, especially Louis.  
  
“Alright, lads.” The driver announced as the car came to a stop. “We’re here.”  
  
The boys looked out the windows to see fans lined up along the street, waiting for their arrival. They hadn’t seen this many fans waiting for them since tour ended. Each of the boys could feel the adrenaline starting to pump through their bodies.  
  
“Are you ready, lads?” Liam asked, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
With no hesitation, the car door was opened and the boys jumped out, beginning to greet the fans that were lining the path to the building. They stopped for pictures and autographs along the way. Plenty of fans questioned Harry’s where-a-bouts, but the boys just told them he was running behind and would be here shortly.  
  
The lads made their way into the party after signing autograph after autograph and taking picture after picture. The real fun was about to begin. Party guests were already here, grabbing drinks from the bar, tearing it up on the dance floor, and socializing with all of the other celebs. Once they got in the door, each of the lads went off in separate directions to greet each of the guests and thank them for coming.  
  
As Louis was making his rounds, he felt a slim wrist wrap around his waist. He jumped and turned around to see Eleanor smiling at him.  
  
“Hey, Lou.” She greeted warmly.  
  
“El? What are you doing here?” Louis asked. No one had mentioned that Eleanor was coming tonight.  
  
“They called and told me to meet you here.” Eleanor explained. “They said it would look weird if you showed up to your own party without your girlfriend. I figured they had called you, too.”  
  
“No, they certainly did not.” Louis sighed. This wasn’t part of the plan. Eleanor wasn’t supposed to be around on the same night that Louis was going to see Harry since the breakup. Louis could feel the anxiety building inside him. This couldn’t end well.  
  
Just about that time, Louis saw Niall walking his direction.  
  
“Mate,” Niall started, “Giving you a heads up. Harry just got here.”  
  
Louis could feel himself start to shake. His chest began to get tighter and he could feel his palms sweating again. Why was he so nervous? It’s just Harry. He looked over to the main entrance just as Harry was walking through the door.  
  
“Oh my god.” Louis breathed out.  
  
Harry looked amazing. He was wearing his tight black skinny jeans, a light blue button down shirt; unbuttoned just enough so that the sparrows on his chest were exposed, his black boots, and his adorable fedora on top of his long curly hair. Louis was glad to see that he hadn’t cut his hair in the past month. He looked incredible. Louis could feel his jaw dropped as his beautiful ex-boyfriend strolled in.  
  
The other boys had all walked over to where Niall, Louis, and Eleanor were standing. When Harry spotted them he waved and started walking their direction. Niall ran a soothing hand on Louis’ back. He could feel how tense Louis was. Louis just stood there, unsure of what to do next.  
  
“Hey, guys.” Harry said as he approached the group.  
  
Everyone stood there for a moment, unsure of what to say. The atmosphere of the group was very tense.  
  
“Hey, mate.” Liam was the first to break the silence as he walked forward and wrapped his arms around the lad. “Missed you, Harry.” He whispered.  
  
“Missed you, too, Li.” Harry whispered in response.  
  
“We all missed you, you twat.” Niall laughed as he lunged forward to give Harry a hug as well, followed by Zayn.  
  
“I missed you all too, mate.” Harry smiled in response. He looked over to make eye contact with Louis for the first time since he had joined the group. “Hi, Louis.”  
  
Louis took a sharp breath in. He wasn’t expecting Harry to say anything to him, honestly let alone initiate conversation. “Hey, Harry. You look good.”  
  
“Thanks. You do, too.”  
  
Everyone looked from Louis to Harry and back again, waiting for someone to say something next. When nobody said anything, Niall chimed in.  
  
“Harry, why don’t you come get some food with me?” Niall asked as he walked over and grabbed Harry by the arm.  
  
“Yeah, sure. I’m starving.” Harry agreed and followed Niall over to the buffet.  
  
“Well…” Louis sighed as the two walked away from the group. “That wasn’t awkward or anything.”  
  
“It’ll be okay, Lou.” Liam reassured. “Why don’t you and El go dance or mingle, or whatever it is the two of you need to do to get some photos of tonight. We’ll distract Harry while you get that out of the way.”  
  
“Okay, yeah” Louis nodded, grabbing Eleanor’s hand. “Thanks, lads.”  
  
“No problem, mate.” Liam smiled softly. “We’ll take him over to the open bar or summit. Get him a little tipsy. He’s always easy-going then!”  
  
“Good call, mate.” Louis laughed as he and Eleanor headed into the crowd of people.  
  
As the night progressed, the boys were running out of ways to keep Harry occupied. They knew that if Harry saw Louis spending all of his time with Eleanor he would go back to being angry and bitter. Tonight they just wanted to keep the peace; Harry could go back to being angry and bitter tomorrow.  
  
It was Liam’s idea to take him over to the bar, but it was Niall’s idea to give him shot after shot until he could hardly walk straight.  
  
“He can’t be angry if he doesn’t even remember it!” Niall laughed.  
  
“You’re such a twat, Niall.” Zayn rolled his eyes. “Louis is going to kill you.”  
  
“He should be thanking me!” Niall defended himself. “I’m keeping him distracted, aren’t I?”  
  
“Hey guys… look over there.” Harry piped up from beside Niall. “It’s her. That’s the girl my Louis chose over me.” He explained in his drunken state, pointing at Eleanor and Louis on the other side of the room. “I should have known he would be with her tonight.”  
  
“Harry, Louis didn’t invite her.” Liam insisted. “She showed up because management-“  
  
“Management, shmanagement.” Harry slurred. “It’s nice to know nothing has changed! He’s still letting them control him. I guess me leaving wasn’t a big enough wakeup call! He’s a coward, ya know.”  
  
“Harry he isn’t a coward…” Niall tried to defend Louis.  
  
“He’s supposed to love me. Not her.” Harry stated firmly.  
  
“He doesn’t love her, Harry.” Zayn tried. “He does love you.”  
  
“I don’t believe that.” Harry said flatly, taking another shot from the table.  
  
A little bit later, after Eleanor had left the party, Louis made his way over to the lads who were still over at the bar. He could hear Niall cackling from the other side of the room, which could only indicate that they were probably intoxicated by this point.  
  
“LOUUUU!” He heard a familiar voice shout over at him. As he approached the boys he saw Harry waving frantically at him.  
  
“Lou! Lou! Guess what?” Harry asked excitedly.  
  
“What, Harry?” Louis questioned, confused.  
  
“I’m really drunk.” Harry confirmed Louis’ speculation.  
  
“I can see that.” Louis responded.  
  
Harry’s face switched to a pout. “I’m angry with you, ya know.”  
  
“Trust me, I know you are.” Louis replied as he walked over and ordered a drink of his own.  
  
“Was it worth it, Lou?” Harry inquired.  
  
Louis looked at Harry, confused. “Was what worth it?” he asked as he took a sip of his drink.  
  
“Was fucking her worth losing me?”  
  
Louis coughed, choking on his alcohol. Did he really just say that? “Excuse me?”  
  
“Eleanor.” Harry said flatly. “Was fucking Eleanor worth losing me?”  
  
“Harry, I-“ Louis started to talk but Harry cut him off.  
  
“Was she good, Lou?” Harry sneered. “Better than me?”  
  
“Harry, I’ve never even-“ Louis tried to explain, but Harry clearly wasn’t in the mood to listen.  
  
“I wonder how everyone at this party would feel if they knew what you did? If they knew how you treated me?” Harry asked smugly.  
  
“Okay, Harry.” Liam interjected. “Let’s calm down. You know you don’t want to do anything stupid.”  
  
Harry turned to look at Liam. “You know, you’re right, Liam. I think I’m just going to go back to my hotel.” Harry started to walk away from the group, stumbling in his drunken haze.  
  
“Someone needs to go with him.” Zayn said. “There’s no way he’s gonna make it back in one piece in the state he is in.”  
  
The lads looked around at each other, deciding who would be the lucky bastard to babysit Harry for the night.  
  
“I’ll take him.” Louis said, grabbing his coat.  
  
“You sure, mate?” Niall asked.  
  
“I’m sure.” Louis stated. “You’re all drunk as hell, anyway. Probably would make matters worse, to be honest.”  
  
“Good luck, man.” Liam called after Louis as he made his way toward Harry.  
  
Louis ran after Harry as they walked out of the building. “Harry, wait!”  
  
“What are you doing, Louis?” Harry asked, angry.  
  
“I’m taking you back to your hotel.” Louis explained. “I need to make sure you get back alright.”  
  
“I don’t need your help, Louis.” Harry sneered. “I didn’t ask for it.”  
  
“I know you didn’t.” Louis stated. “But I’m going to. It’s not up for debate.”  
  
Harry pouted, hopping in the car that was waiting for him on the street. Louis slid in after him, making sure not to sit too close. This was weird, being alone with Harry after all this time. What was he supposed to say?  
  
It was a 20 minute drive to Harry’s hotel. After the first ten minutes of the drive, Harry was passed out. Harry flipped himself around so that his head was resting on Louis’ shoulder as he slept. Louis smiled to himself. Harry always got really sleepy and cuddly when he was drunk. Louis could feel his heartbeat quicken. Should he move him? No. If he wakes him up he’s going to be pissed. Louis decided to just let Harry sleep.  
  
Once they pulled up in front of the hotel, Louis tried to push Harry awake. “Harry? Hey. Hey we’re here.” Louis tried to get him to wake up. “Harry, wake up.”  
  
“Louuu” Harry whined. “So tired. Let me sleep.”  
  
“You have to walk upstairs to your room, love.” Louis insisted.  
  
“Don’t wanna walk, Lou.” Harry yawned. “Can’t you just carry me?”  
  
Louis froze for a moment. “Do you want me to carry you?”  
  
“Please.” Harry nodded.  
  
Louis sighed, placing his arms around Harry and dragging him into his lap. Harry was much taller than Louis, so it was difficult to get him into the right position where Louis could carry him easily. Louis carried him through the doors of the hotel, stopping at the front desk to verify which room was Harry’s. Louis carried him on to the lift and down the hall to his room. Once Louis got into the hotel room, he walked over and laid Harry down on the bed. He helped Harry to get undressed and into his pajamas. Harry was awake at this point, but still drunk. Once Louis made sure Harry was alright, he decided it was time for him to leave.  
  
“I’ll see you later, Harry.” Louis sighed as he walked towards the door.  
  
“Louis, wait!” Harry demanded, standing up from his spot on the bed, a little off balance. “Don’t go.”  
  
Louis turned around to look at Harry, who was now making his way towards him. “What?”  
  
“Please don’t go.” Harry pleaded. “Not tonight. Please just stay tonight.”  
  
“I thought you were mad at me?” Louis questioned.  
  
“I am.” Harry responded. “God, I am so mad at you. I’ve been angry with you for the past month, Louis.”  
  
“Then why do you want me to stay?” Louis asked, clearly confused. Why did Harry want him to stay if he was still so angry with him? “You’re drunk, Harry. You don’t mean it.” Louis turned back towards the door.  
  
“No! No, Louis, please!” Harry reached out and grabbed Louis’ arm. “Please. Please stay tonight. I’m begging you. Louis, please.”  
  
“Why, Harry?” Louis asked one more time.  
  
“Because.” Harry started to explain with tears in his eyes. “Because when you walk out that door I don’t know when I’m going to see you again. It could be another month or two from now. I can’t handle that, Louis. I can’t handle not knowing when I’m going to see you. I spent the last two months of our relationship feeling like that and I don’t want to feel like that tonight. One last night, Lou. I just need one more night. I need one more night to feel like you want me. I need to feel like you love me with everything you have, just like you used to. I need to feel like I’m good enough. Just give me one night, please.” Harry’s voice cracked through his tears. He was pulling on Louis’ shirt cuff trying to get Louis to move closer to him. “Please, Lou.”  
  
Louis didn’t even realize he was crying until a tear fell from his cheek. “Of course I love you.” Louis moved in to wrap Harry in his arms. “I never stopped, Haz. I never will.”  
  
The two walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry as he cuddled into his chest. He kissed Harry’s curls repeatedly saying “I love you. Of course I love you. Of course you’re good enough” over and over again until Harry finally fell asleep. Louis knew the only reason Harry had asked him to stay was because he was drunk. He knew that when Harry woke up in the morning he would want him out of his hotel room. Of course, he would sneak out before Harry woke up so that they wouldn’t have to fight in the morning. But for now, Louis was going to lay in this hotel bed, cuddling his boy for what may be the last time. And if this is the last night they get to spend together, he wants to remember it just like this.

  


The sun was just starting to shine through the window when Louis awoke the next morning. He looked around the quiet hotel room, remembering the events of the night before. He turned his head to look at his ex-boyfriend lying next to him, snoring softly. Louis smiled to himself. Harry really was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, even while sleeping. He smiled softly to himself, remembering how it feels to wake up next to harry in the mornings. Unfortunately, it had to come to an end.  
Louis turned over to look at the clock on the bedside table. 8:37 a.m. He knew Harry’s alarm would be set to wake him up at 9:30, and he needed to get out before that happened. Louis hated leaving, but he knew that Harry would be upset when he woke up if Louis was in bed with him. The only reason Harry had asked Louis to stay last night was because he was drunk and lonely. He didn’t want to hurt Harry even more by being there when he woke up.  
Louis slid himself out from under the covers, being careful not to wake Harry. He walked across the room, searching for where he might have thrown his coat and keys last night. He spotted the coat lying on top of Harry’s luggage bag. He sighed, walking over to pick up his coat. As he grabbed the coat, his keys fell out of the pocket and into Harry’s luggage.  
  
“Shit” Louis whispered.  
  
Louis bent down to open Harry’s luggage a little more so that he could find his keys. As he moved a few shirts around, he saw the keys lying next to a picture frame at the bottom of the bag. He knew that picture frame from somewhere. He stared for a minute before picking up the picture. He looked over to make sure Harry was still sleeping before he turned the frame around to see what picture was inside of it. Once Louis saw it his heart stopped. It was the picture Harry used to have on his night stand at the flat. It was the picture from their first date at Niall’s flat. Louis’ eye started to tear up, remembering that night and how special it was; remembering how in love they were. Had Harry really been carrying it with him all this time? Louis looked back over at the sleeping boy in the bed across the room. Harry still cared about him. Even though he was angry at Louis, he still cared. He wouldn’t be carrying around this picture if he didn’t.  
  
Louis set the picture back down in the bag and picked up his keys. He walked over to Harry, who was still sound asleep, and gently kissed him on the forehead. Harry didn’t budge.  
  
“Love you, Haz” Louis whispered as he turned and walked out the door.  
\----------------------------------------

Harry awoke to the loud ringing of his alarm. He groaned, rolling over to find his phone and turn off the sound. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was 9:30. The band had an interview at 11. He should probably make sure Louis is up in time.  
  
“Louuu-“ Harry started to say as he turned over, only to notice that there was no Louis in the bed with him. He glanced around the room and saw that Louis’ coat and shoes were gone, as well.  
  
He left.  
  
Harry was furious. All he wanted was one more night with Louis; one more chance to wake up next to him. Louis couldn’t even give him that. He didn’t want to go to this interview. He didn’t want to see Louis’ face today. He didn’t want Louis to even try to talk to him. How could he? Harry had begged him to stay last night and he just got up and left without even saying goodbye?  
  
Harry picked up his cell phone and dialed Niall’s number.  
  
“Harry? What’s up, mate?” Niall picked up.  
  
“Tell him not to ever speak to me again.” Harry growled into the phone.  
  
“What?” Niall questioned. “Harry what’s going on?”  
  
“He- he just- he’s” Harry stuttered, unsure of how to get the word out. “Ask him what he did. I’m sure he’ll be able to tell you. Just tell him not to speak to me today at the interview. I’m only putting up with him for today and then I’m leaving.”  
  
“Harry, I-“ Niall started.  
  
“Please, Ni.” Harry begged. “I can’t deal with him today.” Harry sounded completely broken.  
  
“Alright, mate.” Niall agreed. “I’ll tell him.”  
  
“Thanks, Niall.” Harry sighed. “I’ll see you in a little bit.”  
  
Harry sighed as he hung up the phone. How did they let it get to this point?  
\--------------------------------------

Louis walked into the studio of The Today Show where they were having their interview this morning. He was unsure of how it was going to be seeing Harry today. Did he even remember what happened last night?  
  
“What the fuck did you do?” Louis turned to see Niall coming towards him.  
  
“What do you mean?” Louis asked, clearly confused as to what Niall was talking about.  
  
“Harry called me this morning.” Niall stated harshly. “He was so upset about something that you had done. He couldn’t even tell me what it was! He said to ask you. So? What did you do?”  
  
“Oh god.” Louis put his face in his hands. “I wasn’t supposed to upset him. This was supposed to save him from being upset!”  
  
“What are you going on about?” Niall asked.  
  
“I stayed the night with him last night.” Louis explained. “He asked me to when he was drunk. He was crying and begging, I wasn’t about to say no to him. But I woke up and left before he got up this morning. I thought he would be upset that I was there. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to!”  
  
“Jesus Christ, mate.” Niall shook his head. “Well, you fucked up this time. He told me to tell you not to talk to him. He doesn’t want to have to deal with you today.”  
  
“Niall, I didn’t mean to upset him.” Louis tried to explain. “You have to believe me.”  
  
“I believe you, Tommo.” Niall said. “But that doesn’t change how Harry feels. I can’t change his mind for you.”  
  
Louis hung his head as Niall turned and walked away. How was he going to fix this? He had never meant to upset Harry again. He made his way down the hall to where the rest of the lads were getting ready. Zayn, Niall, and Liam, who had clearly already been through hair and wardrobe, were sitting on the sofa talking and laughing. He looked over and saw Harry sitting in his chair in front of the mirror waiting for Lou Teasdale, their hair dresser, to start fixing him up. Louis was about to walk over and try to talk to him when he looked over and saw Niall, who was glaring at him warningly. Louis sighed and waked over to his own spot in front of the mirror. He sat down in his chair and waited for his turn, thinking of ways he could talk to Harry and set things straight. He had to let him know he hadn’t meant to upset him. He couldn’t let Harry be mad at him for something else, too.  
  
By the time the interview started, everyone could feel the tension in the air. It was almost suffocating. Harry wouldn’t talk to anyone before the interview and Louis could hardly look in Harry’s direction without wanting to break down in tears. The interview seemed to be going on for what seemed like hours. The usual questions were being asked about the album, the new sound, how they managed to have normal lives outside of the band; things everyone had heard already. Louis was getting annoyed. He just wanted to talk to Harry.  
  
“So Louis,” the interviewer addressed him. “How is Eleanor?”  
  
Louis heard Harry scoff from the other side of the sofa. “Uhhh… she’s good, yeah.”  
  
“You guys are getting pretty serious now, eh?” the interviewer questioned. “How long has it been now?”  
  
“Um. Just over three years now.” Louis answered, taking a sip of the glass of water sitting in front of him.  
  
“That’s wonderful!” the interviewer smiled. “Is it true that you two are engaged?”  
  
Louis choked on his water after hearing the question. “What?! No! No... No we aren’t engaged.”  
  
“Well you should get to that, Louis! We’re all dying for a One Direction wedding!” the interviewer exclaimed. “Aren’t we, boys?”  
  
All the boys nodded and smiled, agreeing with every word the interviewer said. Everyone except for Harry, who scoffed at the remark.  
  
“Harry?” the interviewer questioned, clearly not pleased with his lack of enthusiasm. “What do you think?”  
  
Harry looked over at the interviewer, and then over at the other boys, not sure of what to say.  
  
“I think….” Harry started, and turned to look at Louis. “I don’t think Louis is really the marrying type, to be honest. He’s not really mature enough to handle a real, serious, commitment.” He turned his face to look back at the interviewer. “I don’t think he is ready to commit to anything. He still has a lot of growing up to do.”  
  
The boys sat there, wide eyed, looking between Harry and Louis. The interviewer, who looked taken aback, decided it was time to close up the interview by promoting the album once more and having the boys say goodbye to the audience. She came and shook each of their hands, saying it was nice to meet them, and took off. Harry got up off the sofa to go back to the dressing room when Louis decided then would be a good time to address the situation  
  
“Harry!” Louis shot up off the sofa and ran after him. “Harry wait!”  
  
“Save it, Louis.” Harry grumbled back at him.  
  
“Harry, stop!” Louis followed him into the dressing room, grabbing him by his arm so he could turn to look at Louis. “Harry, listen to me!”  
  
“What the fuck do you want Louis?!” Harry shouted, clearly not in the mood to talk to Louis at this point.  
  
“We need to talk” Louis started, “About last night.”  
  
“No.” Harry stated flatly. “No, there is nothing to talk about.”  
  
“Harry stop.” Louis pleaded. “Please, talk to me.”  
  
“We could have talked this morning, Louis!” Harry snapped. “But you weren’t there, now, were you?! You left! You didn’t even say goodbye.”  
  
“Harry, I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I was trying to save you from getting hurt again” Louis tried to explain.  
  
“That’s always your excuse, isn’t it?” Harry asked with a spiteful tone to his voice. “Everything you ever do is apparently for my benefit. You ditched me for Eleanor for my benefit. You left this morning without saying goodbye so I wouldn’t get hurt again.” Harry rolled his eyes. “Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?”  
  
“Harry, I’m telling the truth!” Louis shouted. “Don’t act like everything is my fault! For once can you please just be reasonable?”  
  
Harry scoffed in amusement. “I’m the one who isn’t reasonable?! Please, Louis! Get over yourself. Stop thinking that nothing is ever your fault. Just own up to your actions for once in your damn life!”  
  
“I am, Harry!” Louis yelled, clearly getting angry. “I’m not saying that none of this is my fault! I just wish you would stop acting so cold. Stop acting like you don’t care anymore because I know you do!”  
  
“How would you know, Louis?!” Harry shouted back. About this time the other three boys had walked in. Harry and Louis hadn’t noticed over all of the shouting.  
  
“I saw the picture!” Louis cried out. “In your bag. The picture of the two of us from our first date that used to sit on your night stand. I know you’ve been carrying it around with you!”  
  
Harry’s eyes shot open wide. He turned to look at his luggage bag that was sitting in the corner of the room. His eyes darkened with anger as he turned back to look at Louis. He promptly turned around and walked to his bag, unzipping it and pulling out the picture frame.  
  
“You mean this picture?” Harry asked, anger toning his voice.  
  
“Yes…” Louis gulped, unsure of where Harry was going with this.  
  
“You want to see how much I really care?” Harry started shouting, his voice filled with malice.  
  
“Harry what are you doing?” Liam yelled from the other side of the room.  
  
“Harry, stop!” Louis shouted.  
  
Harry lifted the picture above his head and threw it as hard as he could across the room, hitting the wall. The picture frame shattered upon impact, glass flying everywhere.  
  
“Harry!” Zayn shouted.  
  
Harry picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder, walking over to where Louis was still standing, staring at the broken picture frame lying on the ground.  
  
“Fuck you, Louis Tomlinson.” Harry spat as he walked out the door.  
  
Louis felt the tears that had been brimming his eyes start to fall down his cheek. He fell to the floor, sobbing into his hands. Niall and Liam walked over to comfort him as Zayn started to pick up the broken glass that was lying on the floor in front of them. Louis could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He couldn’t breathe and everything started to go blurry. He wasn’t sure if it was from the tears or the lack of oxygen he was getting. The next thing he knew the boys were taking him to Niall’s flat. They weren’t going to leave him alone tonight. Louis was thankful. He didn’t think he would have been able to survive the night by himself. Not when everything in his flat reminded him of what he lost.  
\------------------------------------

A few weeks had gone by and still no one had heard from Harry. The boys had tried to get in contact with him, but Harry refused to answer any of their phone calls. It was now December 24th, Christmas Eve and Louis’ birthday. The band still had some downtime before tour started, so they were all home visiting their families for the holidays.  
  
Louis had been at his mum’s for about three days now. He hadn’t spoken to his mum since he and Harry broke up, so when he walked through the door with one duffle bag and no Harry, Jay was a little confused. She was about to ask where Harry was when she saw the broken look on her son’s face. She walked over and grabbed Louis’ bag from him and wrapped her arm around her son. They stood like that for a few minutes as he cried into her shoulder. They walked into the kitchen where Jay made the two of them some tea as Louis began to retell the story of the break up. He cried while Jay tried to soothe him the best she could, but there was only so much she was able to do.  
  
After the first day with his mum, Louis had an easier time getting up in the morning. Spending time with his family always helped him to feel better. He had hardly had any time to spend with the new babies since they were born, so it was nice to be able to play with them and hear the girls tell him about school. It was a nice distraction from his life and Louis needed it.  
  
The morning of his birthday he was awoken by Daisy and Phoebe running in and jumping on his bed.  
  
“Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!” Phoebe squealed. “It’s your birthday, Lou!”  
  
“Doesn’t that mean I should get to sleep in?” Louis yawned. He looked over at the clock to see that it was only 8:30 in the morning. “It’s still early, girls.”  
  
“Lou, mummy is making your favorite breakfast downstairs!” Daisy said, excitement filling her voice. “You gotta come eat it! It smells so good.”  
  
Louis smiled and rolled himself out of his bed. “Alright, girls. I’ll race you down to the kitchen!”  
  
The twins squealed as they ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Louis could hear giggles and shouts of “I’m gonna beat you!” and “Come on, Lou, you’re gonna lose!” as he made his way down the stairs.  
  
“G’morning, sunshine.” Jay cooed as Louis walked into the room, walking over to give his mum a kiss on the cheek. “Go ahead and take a seat, breakfast is ready!”  
  
Louis spent the day hanging out with his family. He and the girls sat on the couch watching Christmas movies all afternoon, drinking tea and eating Christmas cookies that Jay had made them. Niall, Zayn, and Liam had all called to wish him a happy birthday. He even received a text from Anne saying “Happy Birthday, dearest.” to which he replied “Thank you. Miss you. xx”, but there was no text or phone call from Harry. He didn’t know why he even expected to get one, to be honest. There was a part of Louis that was hoping maybe Harry had decided to be civil again. Obviously Louis had been wrong.  
  
The afternoon came and went, and it was now dinner time. Friends and family of the Tomlinson-Deakin household had all shown up for Christmas Eve dinner, a tradition in their family. Since Louis’ birthday was on Christmas Eve, they always celebrated both his birthday and Christmas by having their family and friends over for dinner. The boys couldn’t make it this year, as they were all with their own families. Everyone had taken their place around the table and were making pleasant conversation with each other. Louis couldn’t help but feel out of place tonight.  
  
He didn’t understand it at first. This was his family, but for some reason he didn’t feel like he belonged here tonight. As he looked around the table, he realized what it was. As he saw all the couples showing affection, all the kids laughing and having fun, he realized that the person he needed to feel at home wasn’t even there. Jay looked over and noticed that something wasn’t right. She wished there was something more that she could do for her son.  
  
As Jay started serving the meal, everyone began to dig in. Jay was an excellent cook and everyone was always excited for her meals. Part of the tradition in Louis’ family was to go around the table and tell everyone what your favorite part about Christmas meal is. Everyone’s usual answers were the food, the family, the laughter, and so on. They went around the table, starting with Jay and would end with Louis. When it was Daisy’s turn to go, her answer made Louis’ heart drop in his chest.  
  
“My favorite part about Christmas meal used to be joking and laughing with Harry, but he isn’t here today.” Daisy said with sadness in her voice.  
  
“It doesn’t feel like Christmas without him.” Phoebe chimed in after her sister.  
  
Louis could feel all eyes on him. Tears started to well in his eyes. No. No, he was not about to cry in front of their entire family. No way.  
  
“You’re right, girls.” Jay chimed in, softly. “It doesn’t feel like Christmas without him.” Jay stood up and walked out of the room. Confused, Louis stood up and followed her.   
  
When he walked into the living room, he saw that Jay was getting his coat and keys off the hook.  
  
“Mum, what are you doing?” Louis questioned.  
  
“Go get your boy, Louis.” Jay smiled, handing him his coat.  
  
Louis looked down at the items Jay had handed to him. “But what about dinner? What about the family?”  
  
“Louis,” Jay said softly. “Harry is your family.”  
  
Louis looked up at his mum with tears in his eyes. He threw on his coat and grabbed his keys from Jay’s hand, leaning in and giving her a hug goodbye.  
  
“I’ll text Anne and let her know you’re coming.” Jay called after him. “I won’t tell Harry, though! Get your boy back, Lou!”  
  
Louis hopped in his car and backed out of the drive way in a hurry. Next destination, Holmes Chapel.  
\-----------------------------------

Louis had just pulled into Cheshire when his phone started ringing. It was his mum.  
  
“Mum?” Louis answered.  
  
“Lou, where are you?” Jay asked.  
  
“I just pulled into Cheshire. I’m almost to Anne’s.” Louis stated. “Why?”  
  
Louis could hear Jay sigh on the other end of the phone. “He isn’t there, Lou.”  
  
“What?” Louis pulled off to the side of the road and slammed on the breaks. “What do you mean he’s not there?”  
  
“Anne just called me.” Jay explained. “Harry bought the whole family tickets to go to Hawaii for Christmas. They left this afternoon.”  
  
“What the hell?” Louis sighed. “How am I supposed to get to him now?”  
  
“Harry didn’t go with them.” Jay continued. “Anne said he wasn’t feeling up to it, so he flew to his place in LA while his family went on the trip.”  
  
Louis paused for a moment, thinking about what his next move should be. “I guess I’m buying a ticket to LA, then.”  
  
“Already done.” Jay said through the phone. “I just sent it to your email. Your plane leaves in an hour.”  
  
“Mum, you didn’t have to do that…” Louis started to argue when Jay cut him off.  
  
“Happy Birthday, Lou.” Jay said, with a smile in her voice. “Now, like I said, go get your boy!”  
  
“Thanks, mum.” Louis smiled and hung up the phone, heading to the airport to catch his plane.  
\------------------------------------

Harry was sitting on the couch in his home in LA when he heard a knock on the door. Who the hell would be knocking on his door on Christmas Eve? He walked over and opened the front door to see Ed standing on his door step.  
  
“Hey, mate!” Ed greeted with a smile.  
  
“Ed, what are you doing here?” Harry laughed and invited the man in for a hug. “It’s good to see you, man.”  
  
“I heard you were in town.” Ed explained. “Thought I would drop by to see how things were going.”  
  
“Things are… going.” Harry sighed.  
  
“Why don’t we go out to the pub for a drink tonight?” Ed suggested. “You look like you could use a few pints.”  
  
“Sure, mate.” Harry nodded. “I could use a night out.”  
=  
=  
It didn’t take long for Harry to start to feel out of place at the pub. While Ed was out dancing with the girls, Harry sat at the bar messing with his empty pint glass.  
  
“Would ya like another?” the bartender asked Harry once he noticed his empty glass.  
  
“No thanks, man.” Harry replied. “I’ve had enough for tonight”  
  
Harry didn’t feel like getting drunk tonight. He knew too much alcohol would only make it worse. If he got too drunk he might do something stupid, like call Louis. He had been fighting the urge to call him all day. It was his birthday and all he could do was think about how he was missing out on all of the birthday traditions he used to be a part of with Louis’ family. It just doesn’t feel like Christmas without him.  
  
Harry walked out to find Ed on the dance floor, surrounded by girls.  
  
“Hey, Ed!” Harry called out. “I think I’m gonna go soon.”  
  
“Are ya sure, mate?” Ed called back.  
  
“Yeah, M’sure.” Harry nodded. “Just not feeling it tonight.”  
  
“Alright, mate. Just call me tomorrow or summit, yeah?” Ed responded before being swallowed by the dance floor again.  
  
Harry walked back toward the bar to grab his jacket. It had started to drizzle rain as they left Harry’s, so he had brought his rain jacket with him just in case. As he walked out the door of the pub, all he could think about was how Louis loved the smell of rain.  
\------------------------------------

It was pouring down rain as Louis walked out of the airport. Of course, he hadn’t brought an umbrella with him. He looked around the street to see that there were no available taxis anywhere in sight. Harry’s place was only a ten minute walk from the airport, so Louis started making his way down the street in the pouring rain. He didn’t have time to wait for a taxi. The only thing he could think was HarryHarryHarry. Louis had to get to him as soon as possible.  
  
Louis started running down the sidewalk, cutting his way across streets and between people making their way down the road. He had to get to Harry’s and he had to get there now. Harry was the only thing on his mind. Louis didn’t even know what he was going to say. He just knew that he needed to see him. He needed to see his face, hear his voice, feel his touch, everything. He needed everything Harry and he needed it now.  
  
He could see Harry’s place across the street from where he stood. He ran across the street as fast as he could and up the front steps. He started banging on the door with his fist.  
  
“Harry!” Louis called. “Harry, it’s me! Please, open up!”  
  
Louis waited for a moment, but there was nothing coming from the other side of the door.  
  
“Haz, please!” Louis tried calling again, but there was still no answer. Louis stood out on the front steps for ten minutes before he gave up, realizing that no one was coming to the door.  
  
He sat down on the steps and buried his face in his hands, sobbing harder than he had ever before. He flew all the way to America, only to be left alone on Harry’s front steps. It was still pouring down rain, but Louis didn’t care. This was his last shot at getting Harry back and he missed it. He missed his chance. How was he ever supposed to go back home now? He sat and cried, curled up into himself for what seemed like forever.  
  
“Louis?”  
  
Louis knew that voice better than anyone. He sat up and wiped his eyes to see Harry standing at the end of the driveway in his rain jacket. He was looking right at Louis. He didn’t look angry, more confused as to why he was there.  
  
“Harry…” Louis sighed as Harry started making his way closer to Louis.  
  
To Louis’ surprise, Harry didn’t say a word. He walked straight past him and into the house, leaving the door open. Louis stood outside on the door step, confused. What was he doing?  
  
A few minutes later, Harry walked back to the doorway. “Well, are you coming in or not?”  
  
Louis made his way inside the house, taking off his wet shoes, and made his way into the kitchen where Harry had disappeared. He walked in and saw that Harry was making hot tea for the both of them.  
  
“I’m surprised you let me in.” Louis mumbled. “I mean I’m happy. Extremely happy. I thought you still hated me.” He sat down at the kitchen counter.  
  
Harry looked taken aback by Louis’ statement. “I don’t hate you. I never did.” Harry explained. “I’m still pissed at you. But I can’t just let you stand out in the rain to become ill just a few weeks before we go on tour.”  
  
“Oh, I just thought-“ Louis tried to continue but Harry cut him off.  
  
“What are you doing here, Louis?” Harry asked as he handed Louis his cup.  
  
“I needed to see you.” Louis explained. “I needed to talk to you.”  
  
“This isn’t a good idea, Louis.” Harry stated, flatly, but not quite cold.  
  
“Why not?” Louis questioned.  
  
“Because nothing has changed, Louis.” Harry sighed. “We haven’t fixed anything. You’re still out doing your thing with Eleanor and I’m still here.” Harry set down his cup of tea and turned to look at Louis. “I can’t go back to that.”  
  
“Harry, we can fix this.” Louis tried to explain.  
  
“Louis, you haven’t done anything to fix it!” Harry raised his voice, clearly getting heated.  
  
"I’ve been trying to get you back for months, Harry.” Louis said sternly.  
  
“No. No you haven’t. You’ve been waiting to get me back. You haven’t been actively trying. You can’t just sit there and expect me to come crawling back to you.” Harry fumed. “It doesn’t work like that.”  
  
“I tried to explain myself to you plenty of times and you weren’t willing to hear any of it!” Louis fought back. “So what does that say? Huh? You obviously weren’t putting forth much of an effort.”  
  
Harry stomped across the kitchen to the pile of mail sitting on the corner of the counter. He picked up a magazine and threw it across the room, smacking Louis in the face with it.  
  
“Look at that!” Harry shouted. “Open it up and look at what’s inside! Go ahead!”  
  
Louis opened the magazine, flipping through the pages, only to find a spread filled with recent pictures of he and Eleanor. The magazine did nothing except talk about how “in love” they were and the rumors about the engagement.  
  
“Now tell me what the fuck was I supposed to think about this whole situation?” Harry growled. “When you’re still out there parading around your fake girlfriend who you claimed to only be with to “protect me”… tell me what am I supposed to think! The whole thing is a load of bullshit, Louis! It’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard!”  
  
“How dare you accuse me of having any other motive behind this except to protect you!” Louis yelled, throwing the magazine to the ground.  
  
“You’re not willing to change, Louis!” Harry cried out. “You’re not protecting me anymore. You’re killing me.”  
  
Louis was about to protest when his phone started to ring. He looked down at the screen to see the name “Tom” across the top of it. He looked back at Harry who turned away from him.  
  
“Tom, this is not a good time.” Louis answered, coldly.  
  
“Louis, hey, I hate to bother you, but I was just wondering if you could get some pictures with Eleanor sometime tomorrow?” Tom asked, obviously ignoring Louis’ words. “It will look good being together on Christmas and everything.”  
  
Louis paused for a moment before answering. He looked over at Harry, who had turned back to face him now. He was playing with the spoon in his cup, trying to distract himself. Louis couldn’t take it anymore. He straightened up, hoping it would help boost his confidence, because for the first time since this relationship started he was making a stand.  
  
“No.”  
  
Harry’s head shot up and looked at Louis.  
  
“Excuse me?” Tom growled.  
  
“I said no.” Louis said, forcefully. “I’m done. I am done playing these games with you. I am done lying. I am done acting. I am done giving up all of my time to make things more convenient for you.”  
  
“Louis, you can’t-“ Tom argued with a hostile tone, but Louis cut him off.  
  
“Don’t fucking tell me what I can and can’t do.” Louis said, sternly. “I am done. I refuse to pretend to be in love with someone when I’m clearly not. We can release the story to the press next week, but the next few days are going to be spent with the person in my life who actually matters. I have a lot of lost time to make up for. So if you don’t mind, and I truly don’t care either way, I’m going to try to salvage what I can out of this fucked up situation that I’ve started. Have a fucking wonderful day, Tom.” With that, Louis hung up the phone and tossed it across the counter. He stood up and made his way over to Harry.  
  
“Louis, I-“ Harry tried to talk but Louis wouldn’t let him.  
  
“I just drove three hours and flew to a different country to see you.” Louis started to explain. “I left my family dinner and ran here from the airport in the pouring rain. I sat out on your doorstep for an hour waiting for you to answer your door. I stood up to management for the first time in my life tonight. Do you want to know why?”  
  
“Why?” Harry asked as he looked at Louis hopefully.  
  
“Because I am crazy, stupid, and absolutely, completely, head over heels in love with you, Harry Styles.” Louis said softly, holding back his tears.  
  
Harry grabbed Louis’ face and pulled him in to meet his lips. He wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck and hopped up to sit on the counter, still kissing Louis heatedly. Louis wrapped Harry’s legs around his waist and picked him up, carrying him across the room and down the hall.  
  
“I love you so much, Haz” Louis whispered between kisses.  
  
“I know, I know.” Harry assured him. “I love you, too.”  
  
Louis carried Harry down the hall to the bedroom and laid him down on the bed, pulling Harry’s shirt off over his head.  
  
“I’m so sorry I left” Harry whined as he reached for the hem of Louis’ shirt. “I promise I’ll never do it again.”  
  
“Don’t apologize, baby.” Louis soothed, as he unbuttoned Harry’s jeans before undoing his own. “I’m so sorry I made you leave. I’m so sorry.”  
  
“I’m here.” Harry cried, pulling down both of their briefs. “I’m not going anywhere ever again. I love you too much to be away from you.”  
  
Louis wiped Harry’s tears from his eyes. “Shh, don’t cry. I love you too, baby. I was so so stupid. I am so sorry.” Louis kissed his way down Harry’s body.  
  
Harry was already hard by the time Louis had reached his cock. They had never been this passionate before and Louis had to admit this is the best feeling he’d felt in months. They had always been passionate in bed, but not like this. Now that Eleanor wasn’t in the picture he felt free, like there was absolutely nothing holding him back anymore. He looked up at Harry with a small teasing grin, making sure to look in Harry’s eyes. He loved to watch Harry’s face twist in pleasure. He took the tip of Harry’s cock in his mouth, sucking on it slowly, swirling his tongue around the head. Harry moaned in pleasure, tilting his head back and breaking eyes contact for the first time. Louis reached his hand up and laced his fingers with Harry’s before moving his mouth down on the rest of Harry’s length, taking in all of him.  
  
“Louuu.” Harry moaned out.  
  
Louis moaned, sending vibrations through Harry’s cock.  
  
“Louis, please.” Harry begged, between jagged breaths. “Need to kiss you.”  
  
Louis popped off of Harry’s length and moved up to kiss Harry’s lips. He reached over to the bedside drawer where they kept their lube. He took the bottle and squeezed a small amount onto his fingers, coating them and making them slick. He reached between Harry’s legs, tracing his entrance with one of his fingers. Harry moaned into Louis’ mouth.  
  
“I missed you so much, baby.” Louis sighed into Harry’s mouth. “I’m sorry I was such an idiot.”  
  
“I missed you too, babe- OH” Harry moaned as Louis slid a finger into him.  
  
Louis worked Harry open with his fingers, slowly adding a second and then a third, spreading them wide to open him up faster.  
  
“Lou- please.” Harry begged. “Need you now.”  
  
Louis leaned up and pressed a kiss to Harry’s forehead as he reached for the bottle of lube once again. He squeezed some more onto his hands to coat his own cock, which had yet to be touched. He threw the bottle to the side and lined himself up between Harry’s thighs.  
  
“Are you ready?” Louis asked, stroking Harry’s legs comfortingly.  
  
“Yes, babe, please.” Harry whined.  
  
Louis pressed the tip of his cock against Harry’s entrance, slowly pushing himself in. It had been a while since they had done this, so he didn’t want to go too fast.  
  
“Please, Lou. I can take it.” Harry begged as he tried to push his hips down onto Louis’ cock. “Please.”  
  
Louis pushed himself all the way until he bottomed out inside of Harry. He took a minute to let Harry adjust to the size. Once Harry gave Louis a nod, he began thrusting in and out of Harry in perfect rhythm.  
  
“Lou- shit…” Harry moaned out.  
  
“Yeah, baby. Let me hear you.” Louis moaned back. Harry was so tight around his cock, Louis didn’t know how long he was going to last. He thrust in and out carefully, trying to find that bundle of nerves that made Harry go crazy. He knew he found it when he heard Harry whimper.  
  
“Lou, God….” Harry hissed in pleasure. “Missed you so much.”  
  
“Missed you, too, baby.” Louis leaned up to kiss Harry’s lips. “Missed you. Missed this.”  
  
Louis picked up speed as he thrust into Harry. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. The feeling of being with Harry again was overwhelming.  
  
“Lou… Lou I’m c-close” Harry moaned out.  
  
“Me too, baby.” Louis grunted as he reached out to stroke Harry’s cock. “Cum with me, baby.”  
  
That was all Harry needed to push him over the edge. Before Harry could say another word he was moaning and coming all over Louis’ hand. Louis could feel Harry tighten around his cock, sending him into his orgasm, filling Harry up with his cum. Louis pulled out and collapsed next to Harry, wrapping him in his arms.  
  
“We should probably get cleaned up now.” Louis laughed.  
  
“Not yet.” Harry said as he pulled Louis closer. “Just wanna lay here with you for a minute.”  
  
“Love you.” Louis whispered as he kissed Harry’s cheek.  
  
“Love you, too.” Harry sighed. “Hey, Lou?”  
  
“Yeah, babe?”  
  
“Happy Birthday.”  
  
Louis smiled softly. “Thanks, love.”  
  
The two fell asleep like that, curled into each other’s arms. Louis couldn’t think of a better way to end his birthday.  
\--------------------------------------------

When the two woke up the next morning they were the happiest they had been in months. Harry was walking around the house singing Christmas carols when Louis walked in the kitchen after his shower.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Boo!” Harry sing-songed as he walked over to kiss Louis on the cheek.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Haz.” Louis smiled, returning the kiss.  
  
“What do you want to do today, love?” Harry asked as he sat a plate of breakfast in front of Louis.  
  
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something….” Louis said with a smile.  
=  
=  
=  
  
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Harry asked cautiously.  
  
“I’m sure.” Louis replied confidently. “Are you sure?”  
  
Harry smiled wide. “Absolutely.”  
  
“Alright then.” Louis smiled as he picked up his phone and got onto his Twitter. “Done!” he said a minute later.  
  
Harry’s phone went off as he received a twitter notification. He giggled to himself as he opened up the tweet Louis had just tagged him in.  
  
  
“Merry Christmas from the Stylinson’s! Love you, @Harry_Styles!”  
  
  
Attached to the tweet was a picture they had taken earlier that day of Harry kissing Louis on the cheek. Harry turned to look at Louis, who was grinning from ear to ear.  
  
“They are going to freak out.” Harry laughed. “Management is going to be pissed.”  
  
“Let them.” Louis said nonchalantly as he turned his phone off and tossed it to the side. He slid over to Harry and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer and kissing his lips. “I’m not answering any calls today.”  
  
“I love you so much, Louis.” Harry smiled, leaning his head back onto Louis’ shoulder.  
  
“I love you too, Haz.” Louis laid his head on top of Harry’s. “Only you. Forever.”  
  
They stayed that way the rest of the day. Cuddled up on the couch watching Christmas specials on TV just the two of them. Exactly how it should be. This time, they got it right.


End file.
